31 July 2013

Don't Tell My Husband

Part of getting ready to live on a sailboat full-time is to downsize. The term “downsize” can refer to a few things:
  1. Large corporations laying off employees 
  2. Losing that weight around your hips and thighs so you can go down a dress size
  3. Getting rid of all of that crap that is filling every nook and cranny in your house
I have experience with number 1 – been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I’m always hoping number 2 will happen, but it never does. When you start to read about sailing and look at sailing blogs, everyone seems to gravitate to tropical islands. Which sounds great (imagine drinks out of coconuts, moonlight walks on the beach, taking naps in hammocks) until you remember that all the girls seem to wear bikinis while they’re frolicking on the beaches in these tropical paradises. Yikes – downsizing to get into a bikini might actually be worse than being downsized by your employer! I’m beginning to think embracing my middle aged blubber and cruising up to the Arctic in search of the Narwhals might be a better alternative. You have to wear thick, warm sweaters instead of bikinis. And since whales have blubber to keep them warm, I figure mine will come in handy too.

So having accomplished downsizing number 1, given up on downsizing number 2, I have now turned my attention to downsizing number 3 – getting rid of my worldly possessions or at least reducing the amount of space they take up. 

I've started with my DVDs. I've had them stored in various parts of our apartment so I never fully realized how many I had. Does this look like a lot to you? 

If Scott ever saw this picture, he would start shaking his head and muttering things under his breath that don’t bear repeating. So because he is in Scotland just now, I’m being very crafty by taking all of the DVDs out of their cases and putting them into DVD wallets. Doesn’t this look much better? I’m sure we can find space on the boat for them. Scott will hardly notice. 

The bad news is that I have just as many DVDs in boxes in Scotland. Scott hasn’t seen them yet but when he goes to pack up our stuff he is going to discover my secret little collection. So I’m working up my “defense” for when his head explodes at the sight of all of my DVDs. It involves demonstrating to him how much worse it could be by buying the DVDs for the "Hoarders" TV series and having him watch them. Yes, it is ironic that I would buy more DVDs. But it is all about perspective. Once he sees how bad it could be, he'll think the DVDs that I've hoarded collected are nothing by comparison.

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1 comment:

  1. Or, you could use the excuse that when you encounter a crashed alien spacecraft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, your vast DVD collection will be hugely valuable in educating the visiting aliens on the human race, potentially preventing a full blown invasion... just don't show them anything with Tom Cruise or you might trigger a distress call to the planet Zondar!


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