What types of things make you feel guilty? I still feel guilty to this day for stealing money from my sister and sneaking off to the corner store to buy chocolate bars. I was only seven at the time. I still feel guilty about the time that I ate all of the chocolate cake and didn’t leave any for Scott. That was just yesterday, so I was a lot older that time. And I still feel really guilty about the time that Scott and I were were complete, utter slugs at Jonathan Dickinson State Park in Florida for two days. We did absolutely nothing. Except eat chocolate. Well, the chocolate eating was mostly me. Anyone else detecting a theme here?
Thank goodness for bloggy pals. One of my favorite bloggers, pointed out that you never hear about slugs having heart attacks and that sometimes it’s good to be slug-like and laze about doing absolutely nothing. That really helped me feel a lot less guilty. We weren’t really being lazy, we were looking after our health. Who needs satins, diet and exercise when you can just lie about and eat chocolate all day like a giant slug. A slug becoming more giant every day, probably as a result of all of the chocolate. But let’s not dwell on that.
Do you need to slow down and relax? Is life just getting to be too much of a rat race? If so, here are a few simple rules on the art of being a slug we learned from our time at Jonathan Dickinson.
1 – Never, never make the bed up.
If you live in a 13’ Scamp travel trailer like we do, then your bed is also your dinette. On non-slug days, every morning I fold up the blankets, put the pillow away, raise the table up and voila we have a dinette. Every evening, I reverse the process and voila we have a bed. It only takes a few minutes, but when you’re a slug you have to be careful about expending energy on tasks like this. Plus, if you turn the bed into a dinette, you can’t laze about properly. It makes napping pretty much impossible and having a table might inspire you to cook a proper meal, rather than eating junk food in bed.
So rule number 1 for slugs – keep your bed as it is and stay in it.
2 – Do not pay attention to your neighbors.
We met a lovely couple from Canada while we were at Jonathan Dickson (they also have a fiberglass travel trailer – a Trillium). They were on their annual three week vacation in Florida and were out every day on some new adventure. Biking, walking, fishing, exploring local attractions, you name it, they did it. When we looked out of the window every morning, we could see them getting ready to head on out. Scott and I would look at each other and apprehensively wait for the other one to say, “Maybe we should go out and do something.” Because if you’re feeling even the slightest bit guilty about being a slug and your partner suggests doing something active, you might feel compelled to go along with them. The good news is that Scott and I were perfectly in synch about indulging our inner slug and neither of us ever suggested getting out of bed.
So rule number 2 – ignore your neighbors, they’re bad role models for slugs.
3 – Expend energy on the things that matter.
Obviously, even slugs have to expend some energy. But they make sure they spend it on the right things. Like watching DVDs and reading books. You’d be amazed how much effort it can be to get a DVD out and put it in the DVD player, get things set up and push the on button. It also takes a bit of effort to turn the pages in books. If you waste your limited energy on things like doing the dishes, you’ll be totally wiped out when it comes time to watching your shows and reading your books.
So rule number 3 – the dishes can wait, rot your brain with bad TV shows and chick-lit instead
4 – Ignore societal conventions.
Although we have a shower in our Scamp, we use the showers where we’re staying instead. Society thinks that showering every day is important. And sure, that’s fine when you’re full of energy. But when you’re a slug, walking to the bathhouse in the campground and taking a shower is really way too much effort. Who cares if things get a little bit smelly – save your energy for the important things, like DVDs and books. And eating chocolate.
So rule number 4 – smelly slugs are good slugs
5 – Don’t listen to your mother.
Moms are big on eating balanced meals with vegetables and other icky things. What ever you do, don’t fall into this trap. Cooking a proper meal takes way too much effort. Plus it creates a heap of dishes that will make you feel guilty about not doing. Instead, eat junk food and whatever else you can find squirreled away in the cabinet that requires no cooking whatsoever. That’s where chocolate comes in handy. You just unwrap the bar and eat it.
So rule number 5 – eat crap, you’ll feel better about yourself.
So there you go, five simple rules on the art of being a slug!
For all of you non-slug like people out there, Jonathan Dickinson State Park has more to offer then just a place to lie in bed like a slug. You can canoe or kayak down the Loxahatchee River and check out the 1930s pioneer homestead of Trapper John. You can go fishing. You can go hiking on one of the park’s three scenic trails. You can go biking on paved or off-road mountain biking trails. But don’t ask us for any details about any of these activities, because we did none of them.
Embrace your inner slug and keep your heart healthy!
We were complete and utter slugs at Jonathan Dickinson State Park 16-19 February 2015.
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