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13 January 2016

A Different Kind Of Doorway | The Quirkiness Of Boat Living

A pal of ours came to visit me the other day on Tickety Boo. As I watched him climb onto our boat and make his way down below, I started thinking to myself how very different boat living is. 

When you go to visit someone on land, you ring the doorbell or knock on the door. When you go to visit someone on their boat, there isn't a doorbell to ring, let alone a proper door. Instead, you knock on the hull. Tap, tap, tap. You cry out, "Hello, is anyone home?" Someone pops their head out of the companionway and says, "Hey there, come on board!"

Then you take a look at all the obstacles in your way and think to yourself, How in the world am I supposed to get on this boat without breaking something? You put one foot on the deck, grab onto one of the metal bars and pull yourself up. Not on the first try though. The water level is high and it's a long way to jump up. Maybe it's time to start heading back to the gym. 

Finally, you end up with both feet on the deck, hanging on for dear life, but then realize that you need to climb over the lifelines. You wonder why they call them lifelines. It's a little disconcerting. You lift one foot carefeully over, then the next foot. Phew. You've made it on board. Kind of. You're still standing on the deck and somehow you have to make your way down below where you've been promised treats and beverages.

But how do you get into the cockpit? There are these bars in the way with tiny, irregularly shaped openings between them. And there is this awning thing in the way. You take a deep breath, size up the options and choose Door #1 to the left. You crouch down, try to squeeze your way through without banging your head on one of the metal supports or stub your toe on the cleat which is right in your way. So, that's what those yoga fanatics mean when they talk about the Downward Dog posture. How embarrassing. You really hope no one was watching.



Finally, you make it into the cockpit. You wonder why there is so much crap in there and what all that crap is. Your friend tells you that she had to take everything out of the lazarette to check for leaks and has left it in the cockpit for the time being. You have no idea what a lazarette is, but don't really care because you've now encountered your next obstacle - an air conditioner.

How are you supposed to climb over this? It's perched in the doorway on a cinder block with towels stuffed on either side of it. There's a tiny bit of space on either side of the air conditioner. Are you supposed to step there first and then over the air conditioner? Or just make a giant leap directly over it? Or go back out the way you came and find somebody else to visit who lives in a normal house?

You look down below and you see coffee. You like coffee, so you decide to attempt yet another yoga movement and clamber over the darn obstruction.  

 

You stick one foot over and realize there is an extremely tiny step you have to manage to get your foot onto. While, of course, trying to avoid the cord for the air conditioner which runs across it and over to the outlet in the head. You've been told that "head" is sailor talk for bathroom. You really don't care at this point. The heck with coffee, your friend better have a very large beer waiting instead. 


Finally, after twisting and turning and hanging on to the grab rail, you manage to make it down below. Your friend quickly puts the washboard back in and closes up the hatch. Bugs out, cold air in. While she's getting you that promised beer, you look back the way you came. What is all this stuff hanging up on the wall? This is not your normal kind of doorway.


 It's all kind of weird. 


Okay, this kind of seems normal. Keys. You have a table by your door where you put your keys. Wait a minute, there's also some stuff you don't recognize here either. 


Ah, boat living...it's a bit quirky, isn't it. I wonder if our pal will be back to visit again?

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16 comments:

  1. Your entry to the cockpit is similar to ours and (I'm guessing) requires the same amount of acrobatic aptitude to get in. Both D and I are real pros at it when in comes to the starboard side (which is never more obvious than when someone comes over for a visit) but I'll be darned if we can do it without breaking something from the port -- thank goodness for muscle memory!

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    1. I seem to have developed some good muscle memory. I can make it on board and down below without bumping my head or banging into anything now. Of course, it took a lot of practice :-)

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  2. Such a cute article. They'll be back if there's free beer or run! πŸŒ΄πŸΈπŸ‘£ Got to love living on a boat. A new adventure every day.

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    1. Thanks Susie! Looks like you guys have been having lots of fun adventures down in the Keys.

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  3. Your boat is way harder to board than ours. Ours is easy. Around our parts everyone (real boaters) always say permission to come aboard. Then it's rarely coffee, but some cold adult beverage that all are enjoying. I do get the obstacles though. There are many.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. I think I'd like to visit your boat. Easy to get on and cold adult beverages sounds great!

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  4. :)
    Hey love the coiled lines on the dock! Very flash

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  5. Your boat looks very difficult to board. Ours was much simpler as we did not have as many obstacles, although I think that if we had lived on our boat as you do it would have been a different story.

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    1. It's definitely keeping me limber what with all the yoga moves and twists and turns I have to do each day.

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  6. My favorite is when we step of the boat onto our doormat on the dock after it has rained and the damn thing slides out from under you and you nearly fall in the water. Always a good time!

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    1. Boat living - definitely not for the faint of heart.

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  7. Hilarious article guys. The pictures really did it for me. I think it adds to the challenge that every boat has slightly different obstacles. Means even us boaters have a chance to hurt ourselves on strange boats.

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    1. Probably one of the reasons we all have bruises in strange places :-)

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  8. Very true! We're living aboard and it is truly different than living on land. I've gotten much more fit, partially due to having to climb out of the boat multiple times per day.

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  9. Looks like you have a pretty reliable security system set up! Good job. Love the pics.

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