Wordless Wednesday | What's On My Chart Table

Wordless Wednesday is supposed to be about posting a photo(s) without any words. But, I'm a rule breaker, so here are a few words:

1 - Maybe it was the beer I had just had, but I thought it would be interesting to take a picture of what was on my chart table. 

2 - You'll find chart tables on boats. They're where you store and look at nautical charts. Although, nowadays, many people use electronic charts instead of paper charts.

3 - So what's on my chart table?

• Some antibacterial cream for my head wound (it's a long story)
• A napkin that I picked up off of the free table (with a very strange and mesmerizing pattern)
• Two pairs of nail scissors which my very frugal friend used to "dissect" an old backpack so that she could re-purpose the zippers etc.
• A flashlight (handy for seeing into the depths of the fridge and finding that last elusive yogurt)
• A bike pump
• A reminder to fill out our FBAR form (report of foreign bank and financial accounts that the US government requires us to file each year, I guess to make sure we're not laundering money, although would money launderers fill out these forms?)

What words does this picture(s) bring to your mind when you look at it?

For more Wordless Wednesday fun, click here. 

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Reader Ideas On How To Kill Someone In A Boatyard | You Guys Are Scary!

On Friday, I asked our readers here and over on Facebook for their ideas on how to murder someone in a boatyard. I was astounded at how many responses we got. And a little scared. So many well-thought out ideas. Is it possible some of you have personal experience with this?

I thought I'd share some of the different methods people suggested just in case your neighbor at the boatyard is getting on your nerves. Not that you'd put any of these into practice in real life, but sometimes it's cathartic to imagine what could happen.

1  - BEING CRUSHED BY A BOAT

Building on my original idea of using a jack stand as a murder weapon, several people suggested that someone could monkey around with the stands causing a boat to fall on top of someone and crush them to death.

One of the most creative twists on this idea came from Deb Akey who suggested that a boat could crush the "Wicked Witch of the Boatyard" leaving just the shoes peeping out à la Wizard of Oz. Then the amazingly talented cruising cartoonist Sarah Steenland created this illustration to demonstrate exactly how it would work.

Illustration by Sarah Steenland

2 - DEADLY ENCOUNTERS WITH THE TRAVELIFT

Travelifts are used to hoist boats in and out of the water and move them around marinas and boatyards. People suggested that one of the straps could break causing a boat to fall down and fatally harm someone or that the Travelift could be used to run someone over. Lesson learned: stay clear of the Travelift when it's in operation.

3 -  OUCH, THAT HURT!

There were a lot of suggestions about things that could be dropped on someone's head. Someone had the idea that a windlass could mysteriously "malfunction" causing the chain and anchor to come crashing down. I can see how the murderer could try to pass that off as an accident. We've been having a terrible time getting our windlass to work - it has a mind of its own, but fortunately hasn't attempted murder yet.

Other thoughts included hitting someone with a winch handle. {Hmm. . .that sounds familiar. Maybe that happens in my first book, Murder at the Marina? Could that be it?} Someone also mentioned real-life experience with the support arm of a fridge door failing and causing injury.

One of the devious ideas that someone put forward was to hit the victim over the head with a big piece of ice (maybe ice used to store fresh fish at the dock). The murder weapon would then melt, leaving no evidence as to how the dastardly crime happened. 

If you saw the sailing cult classic film Captain Ron, then you'll be familiar with how a flare gun can be used as a deadly weapon. A speargun could also be used to kill someone as well.

4 - SHOULD HAVE WORN A RESPIRATOR

There were lots of suggestions related to the products commonly used on boat projects. A lot of this stuff is super toxic. A friend recently loaned me some stuff to remove adhesive from our cockpit. It was working great until I realized I was getting pretty light-headed. Then I read the container. Definitely should have been wearing a respirator. I think I lost a few brain cells that day.

There are a lot of chemicals that can kill you in a boatyard, either on their own or mixed together. The third book I'm planning the series is called Poisoned by the Pier and I think I'll work in some sort of chemical-related death into it.

5 - IT'S A LONG WAY DOWN

That's a picture of me on a bosun's chair up at the top of our mast. I'm pretty scared of heights, so I don't think anyone was more surprised than I was that I agreed to do this. Sadly, accidents do happen when people go up the mast, which is why you always use a second safety line in addition to the primary one.

I can definitely see a murderer doing something to the lines or bosun's chair which would cause the victim to fall down and crash in the water or on land, or possibly even get caught up and hung in the rigging.

You could also get seriously hurt if you fell off of a ladder or were pushed from the deck onto the ground. Actually, the more I think about it, the less I want to be in a boatyard. It's a dangerous place even without a murderer on the loose.

A few people suggested hanging someone from a halyard, which is actually one of the tentative titles I'm thinking about for a future book.

6 - BOOM!

Many boaters use propane onboard for cooking. It's a great choice - readily available, relatively inexpensive, and easy to use. But it is a flammable gas and the problem with flammable gases is that they can cause everything to go boom.

Fire is a real risk onboard a boat. More than one boat has been lost due to faulty electrical connections, a propane explosion, or an issue with the fuel system. I can definitely see how a murderer could off his victim through some sort of fire, hoping that any criminal evidence would be burned up in smoke. We have several fire extinguishers on our boat. Let's hope we never have to use them. 

7 - OWNING & WORKING ON A BOAT

A few people pointed out that you don't have to get fancy when it comes to murder. Just owning a boat and doing work on it yourself in the sweltering summer heat is enough to drive someone to their death. And, if that's not enough, give them the bill for being in the boatyard and that will finish them off.

8 - OTHER GRUESOME SUGGESTIONS

There were lots of other gruesome suggestions such as putting fast-curing epoxy in someone's nose and mouth. What a horrible way to go! Or luring someone onboard with the pretense of a fishing trip, then stuffing them in a crab cage and tossing it overboard. What about wild dogs chasing you down and biting you? Perhaps the most gruesome of all was having to use the bathroom in the boatyard in the middle of the night. Not only are boatyard bathrooms pretty gross, who knows what's lurking in the dark waiting to get you.

People also had devious ideas about where to hide the body - in the holding tank or lazarette, buried under lead and fiberglass in the keel, or in a shrink-wrapped boat where no one can see what's inside.


MURDER AT THE MARINA

If you want to check out the murder method I used in my first cozy mystery, >>Murder at the Marina<< will be released on June 21st and is available for pre-order:

Amazon (US) | Amazon (CA) | Amazon (UK) | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Apple iBooks | Google Play

Don't all these ideas make you want to go boating? Any other suggestions for how to murder someone in a boatyard, marina, or while out sailing? It's all great inspiration as I start to plot out the next books in the series.

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Saturday Spotlight | Release Of "Write With Fey" By Chrys Fey

In addition to the usual blog posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday about our travel adventures and day-to-day life living aboard a sailboat, I also occasionally post on Saturdays, focusing on things related to writing such as cover reveals, book launches, reviews, interviews with authors etc. So if you're a bit of a book nerd like I am, check in on Saturdays - you never know what might pop up.

* * *

BLURB

Catch the sparks you need to write, edit, publish, and market your book!

Write with Fey: 10 Sparks to Guide You from Idea to Publication offers an abundance of data in one handy book. From writing your novel to prepping for publication and beyond, you’ll find sparks on every page, including 100 bonus marketing tips. You’ll also discover how to write specific scenes and characters, adding depth to your work.

• Spark One: Being a Writer
• Spark Two: Story Essentials
• Spark Three: A Book’s Stepping Stones
• Spark Four: How To
• Spark Five: Character ER
• Spark Six: Editing
• Spark Seven: Publishing
• Spark Eight: Marketing
• Spark Nine: Writing About
• Spark Ten: Final Inspiration

With so much information, you’ll take notes, highlight, and flag pages to come back to again and again on your writing journey.

BUY LINKS

Amazon US / Amazon CA / Amazon UK / Barnes & Noble / KOBO / iTunes


AUTHOR BIO

Chrys Fey is the author of the Disaster Crimes Series, a unique concept blending romance, crimes, and disasters. She’s partnered with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group and runs their Goodreads book club. She’s also an editor for Dancing Lemur Press.

Fey realized she wanted to write by watching her mother pursue publication. At the age of twelve, she started her first novel, which flourished into a series she later rewrote at seventeen. Fey lives in Florida and is always on the lookout for hurricanes.

Connect with Chrys at:

Website / Blog / Amazon / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter


GIVEAWAY!

Open to all from June 4th 2018 – July 6th 2018

Click here to enter or use the form below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

What books have you been reading lately? What would you recommend?

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Reader Question | How Would You Murder Someone?

So, here's a bit of a strange question for you—how would you murder someone in a boatyard? I'm currently working on my next cozy mystery, >>Bodies in the Boatyard<<, and am at a bit of a loss for how to kill off a very unfortunate character.

My original idea was to have the murderer use a jack stand to clobber someone over the head. If you're not a boat person, jack stands are metal supports that they use to prop boats up when they're on the hard.

Oh, I should probably also explain "the hard" too. It means that your boat is on land, not in the water. You put boats on the hard to store them or to work on them. There's a saying that goes, "life is hard on the hard."

The jack stand seemed like a great idea in theory. But, then a friend and I tested it out and the theory didn't pan out. Just so we're clear—by "testing," I mean lifting them up, not actually killing people. 

Turns out those suckers are pretty heavy and awkward to use as a murder weapon. So, I'm back at the drawing board and that's where you come in. What do you think? How would you kill someone in a boatyard? Leave your suggestions in the comments below. If I use your idea, I'll mention you in the acknowledgments when the book is released. And, don't worry, I'll assume these are ideas you've dreamed up, not actual things you've put into practice.

Thanks for stopping by our blog - we love it when people come visit! We're also on Facebook - we'd love for you to pop by and say hi! 

Murder at the Marina available for pre-order at:

Amazon (US)
Amazon (CA)
Amazon (UK)
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Apple iBooks
Google Play

Simon The Time Travelling Cat's Dubious Advice | IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) is a place to share and encourage, where writers can express their doubts and concerns without appearing foolish or weak. It's a great place to mingle with like minded people each month during IWSG day. I'm co-hosting this month, along with Beverly Stowe McClure, Tonja Drecker, and Tyrean Martinson.

Every month there's an optional question which may prompt folks to share advice, insights, a personal experience or story. Some folks answer the question in their IWSG blog post or let it inspire them if they're struggling with what to say.

This month's question is:

"What's harder for you to come up with, book titles or character names?"

Check out how people have answered this month's question, as well as the other insecurities and writing topics they may have shared by visiting the IWSG sign-up list here. If you want to see how I answered the question, have a look below. 

* * *

Cat image via The Graphics Fairy

I was lying down with my eyes closed when Simon the Time Traveling Cat jumped on me. He pressed his gray paws into my stomach firmly. When I didn't respond, he inched upward and then batted me in the face. "Wake up, lady!"

"Shush, Simon. I'm busy," I said trying unsuccessfully to push him away.

"Busy with what? Digesting that entire pack of Oreos you just ate?"

I opened my eyes, wiped a few telltale black crumbs off of my shirt. "No, I'm trying to think of character names for the cozy mystery I'm working on. There are two young guys who work on fishing charter boats, a real estate agent, and a young couple who live on a catamaran. Any ideas?"

"That's easy. Simon."

"Simon? Maybe. But for which character."

"All of them."

"Huh?"

"Geez, lady. Sometimes, you're so dense. Name everyone in your book Simon." He curled up on my neck and played with my earring. 

I turned my head and stared at him. "Don't you think that would get a little confusing?"

"Well, only if your readers are as stupid as you. Besides, it will be good for sales. Who wouldn't want to read about me?"

I picked Simon up and placed him on the table. "You do realize that this book isn't about you, don't you?"

Simon lay down on top of the empty Oreo bag. After washing behind his ears for a few moments, he turned to me and said, "I guess that explains your really poor Amazon ranking. Your characters and their names suck."

* * *

I find character names a lot harder to come up with than book titles. Although I'm not sure how great they are, it was pretty easy to come up with the titles for my cozy sailing mystery series. Basically,  variations on murder with a nautical theme (Murder at the Marina, Bodies in the Boatyard, Poisoned by the Pier etc.). Having said that, the names in my cozy mysteries are heaps easier to dream up, than the ones were for my fantasy short story published in last year's IWSG anthology (Hero Lost). I wrote a blog post about the process - Imaginary Language & Character Names in Fantasy Stories - if you want to check it out.

* * *

And in other news, the release of my debut novel, >>Murder at the Marina<< is on June 21st. Tons of people have volunteered to support the release (thank you!), so there's going to be a blog tour & fiesta running from June 21st - July 4th. More details about the participants on Wednesday, June 20th.

If you signed up for an ARC, you should have received an email by now with a link to download it. If you haven't, please drop me an email at ellenjacobsonauthor (at) gmail (dot) com.

A dilapidated sailboat for your anniversary - not very romantic. 

A dead body on board - even worse.

My cozy mystery, >>Murder at the Marina<<, will be released on June 21, 2018 and is now available for pre-order at Amazon (US) | Amazon (CA) | Amazon (UK) | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Apple iBooks | Google Play

A paperback version will available closer to the release date. Find out more on Goodreads, check out the advance reviews, and add to your To-Read list.

Have you ever been given some really dubious advice? Did you follow it? What do you find harder to come up with - book titles or character names?

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Month In Numbers

Clockwise from upper left: (1) The coolest gift ever - a Lt Uhura finger puppet!; (2) Courtesy flags; (3) Paperback proof copies from KDP and Ingram Spark; (4) A gloomy day at the marina; (5) Hurricane season starts early with TS Alberto; and (6) Our friend Ted with some of the cute boat kids at the marina.

It's time for the monthly recap in numbers, a collection of odd tidbits that popped into my head as I reflected on the month past. As usual, the month just zipped by. It's hard to believe that 31 days can evaporate so quickly.

If I had to pick one word to characterize May, it would be >>rain<<. Lots and lots of rain. And that can only mean one thing. . .lots and lots of leaks. I had towels and bowls placed strategically around our boat. The bilge pump seemed to run constantly. {One of life's unsolved mysteries continues to be the source of the water draining into the bilge.}

There were a couple of boating milestones during the month - one set of friends splashing their boat after months and months of work on it and getting ready to set off on cruising adventures and another set of friends selling their boat.

On the writing front, I spent a lot of time getting ready for the release of >>Murder at the Marina<< on June 21st and making good progress on the first draft of the next book in the series, >>Bodies in the Boatyard<<.

But enough of all those words, let's get into some numbers:

• 3,500 - The number of species of mosquitoes. To be honest, I don't really care how many species there are. All I know is that the mosquito population exploded at the marina. Probably due to all of that rain.

• 8 - How many mosquito bites I got in the space of five minutes. I went to take a shower the other day, noticed two mosquitoes and killed one of them. After I got undressed, a swarm appeared and attacked me. I desperately wanted to run outside to escape, but it's not like this place is clothing optional, nor do I have any desire to run around naked. I got dressed as quick as I could, while fending off the little bloodsucking pests, but eight of them left their mark.

• 30k - Number of words I wrote. Most were for >>Bodies in the Boatyard<<. The rest were for this blog and my author blog, as well as guest posts for my >>Murder at the Marina<< blog tour.

• 1 - How many hours I spent with a towel pressed to the side of my head. Here's the problem with writing murder mysteries and thinking up ways to kill people in marinas - sometimes your plots come true. A friend was handing down a foot pump to me from her boat and somehow it landed on top of my head instead of in my hands. I didn't know anything was wrong until she pointed out there was blood dripping down my face. Head injuries bleed a lot. Fortunately, I survived this attempt on my life. 

• $7.97 - How much I spent on Kindle books.

• 9 - How many books I read including three mysteries, one general fiction, four scifi/fantasy, and one sailing-related books. Several were written by writing buddies of mine. It's great to be read their work and support them. Check them out - Tick Tock: A Stitch in Crime, Explosive Beginnings, and Terror on Sunshine Boulevard.

•  15 - How many advance reviews/ratings I already have on Goodreads for >>Murder at the Marina<<. Many, many thanks to those people who have taken the time to read and review ARCs (advance reader copies).

• 1 - The number of catfish friends reported seeing in a puddle in the workyard. The workyard is very far away from the water. There's a theory that it was a walking catfish. Seriously, fish that walk. Who knew such a thing existed?

• 3 - How many courtesy flags I bought from our friends selling their boat. Now we just have to get this boat off the dock and sail to new and exciting places to use them. {For non-boaters, you fly a courtesy flag of the country you're sailing in, along with your own national flag.}

• 2223 - The year that Lt. Uhura was born. Did you see that picture above of the awesome Lt. Uhura finger puppet? Who among you wishes they had one of their own? {For people who live under rocks - Lt. Uhura is a Star Trek character. Although, if you live under a rock, chances are you don't have WiFi and aren't reading this blog post.}

In case you missed them, here are some of our favorite posts from last month:

Provisioning for a Voyage | Whaling Ships vs. Modern Sailboats
Flashback Friday | The Time I Accidentally Sent Someone Porn
Little Letters

How did last month go for you? What are you looking forward to next month?

Thanks for stopping by our blog - we love it when people come visit! We're also on Facebook - pop by and say hi! 

Murder at the Marina available for pre-order at:

Amazon (US)
Amazon (CA)
Amazon (UK)
Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Apple iBooks
Google Play

Saturday Spotlight | "Once...Tales, Myths & Legends Of Faerie" By Ronel Janse Van Vuuren

In addition to the usual blog posts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday about our eccentric travel adventures and day-to-day life living aboard a sailboat, I also occasionally post on Saturdays, focusing on things related to writing such as cover reveals, book launches, reviews, interviews with authors etc. So if you're a bit of a book nerd like I am, check in on Saturdays - you never know what might pop up.

* * *

Today, I'm featuring the release of >>Once...Tales, Myths and Legends of Faerie<< by Ronel Janse van Vuuren. I've got an interview with Ronel with some serious and not-so-serious questions, along with details about her new release below.

AUTHOR INTERVIEW

1 - What inspired you to write this book?

I’ve always thought that there was more to the fairy tales we heard and read than was shared. Also, I wanted to share the backstory of Faerie. In my other (yet unpublished) works, I refer to Faerie’s past without going into it. Now is the time to reveal secrets...

Ellen: Ooh, secrets! I love a good secret.

2 - Do you have any writing rituals?

A few. They involve pens, post-its, notebooks, mood music (for this book I listened to a lot of Linkin Park, Within Temptation and Nightwish), an imagined deadline, and the promise of a reward (being allowed to watch the newest season of “Arrow” was the reward for this book). The rest is just butt-in-chair stuff.

Ellen: I watched "Arrow" when it first came out. I didn't realize it was still on. I'll have to check it out.

3 - What's more important - character or plot?

Both. Without a compelling character, the plot can be amazing but not worth following. And what is a great character with a plot that only involves mundane shopping and to-do lists? A balance between the two makes for great reading – even if the plot is only vaguely hinted at (like in flash fiction).  

Ellen: I've always thought writing flash fiction would be really hard.

4 - What do you like best about being an author? What do you like least?

Being able to crush worlds at the stroke of a keyboard. Mwah-ha-ah. Having to torture my characters… Oh, wait. I actually like that too. As long as I’m able to create a great pay-off, of course.

Ellen: I like torturing characters too. 

5 - What's your favorite cookie? If you don't like cookies, what's wrong with you? Oops, sorry, scratch that. My follow-up question was meant to be far more polite - "Why don't you like cookies?" 

That’s a difficult one. Anything with chocolate is, of course, high on the list. But I think I’ll have to go with ginger cookies – home baked with my great-grandmother’s recipe (my dad has to bake them, I’m horrible at baking cookies).

Ellen: I love ginger cookies!

6 - A penguin walks through your front door wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why did he come visit you? 

“Does the sun ever set here?” He obviously got lost or thinks he’s a chicken and will fit in with the rest of my flock.

Ellen: That would be fun to see a penguin hanging out with some chickens.

BLURB

Damsels in distress, curses, echoes of faery tales and tragic love affairs swirl together in sixteen stories found in a dragon’s lair by a curious half-fae.

Unexpected changes to reality causes more than one damsel to turn into a strong, independent woman who takes charge of her own life.

A collection of short stories about Faerie and the fae that live in the human realm. A few of the stories had won competitions and all of them had enchanted readers.

Learn their secrets and enter the realm of the fae…

BOOK EXCERPT

Mortals cannot perceive the veil unless they are invited to – or extremely gifted. For centuries, Man and Fae have been kept apart, for nothing good ever comes from them mixing. The collection of The Adventures of Saphira the Faery Dog is proof of this.

Still, there are magical creatures that side neither with Man nor Fae.

Dragons are such creatures. They hold the knowledge of both worlds. Some even collect it in the written word, keeping it safe in their lairs.

An inquisitive half-fae once broke into the lair of a dragon known to hoard books. The knowledge she found was too much to keep to herself…

Here are a few tales, myths and legends from Faerie. Some may sound remarkably similar to legends held by mortals, while others are…well…as otherworldly as the fae themselves.

BUY LINKS

Available on Amazon or click on this Universal Book Link to find >>Once...Tales, Myths and Legends of Faerie<< at your favorite online store.

Also in Afrikaans - available on Amazon or click on this Universal Book Link to find >>Eens...Verhale, Mites en Legendes van Feerie<<  at your favorite online store.

ISBN (EPUB): 978-0-6399476-2-4

ISBN (PRINT): 978-0-6399476-3-1

RELEASE DATE: May 23,  2018

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ronel Janse van Vuuren is the author of New Adult, Young Adult and children’s fiction filled with mythology and folklore. Her dark fantasy stories can be read for free on Wattpad and on her blog Ronel the Mythmaker. She won Fiction Writer of the Year 2016 for her Afrikaans stories on INK: Skryf in Afrikaans. Her published works can be viewed on Goodreads.

Ronel can be found tweeting about writing and other things that interest her, arguing with her characters, researching folklore for her newest story or playing with her Rottweilers when she’s not actually writing. All of her books are available for purchase on Amazon.

Connect with Ronel on Amazon | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Goodreads | Blog


What books have you been reading lately? Do you speak Afrikaans? What's your favorite cookie?

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