J Is For "Jefe" {Boss} | A To Z Challenge

In my ongoing efforts to learn Spanish, I'm highlighting a Spanish word each day during April as part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. I'm also sharing the random thoughts that pop into my head as I try to pronounce them.

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Today's Spanish word is >>jefe<< (boss). And now for today's random thoughts:

1 - I think >>jefe<< is one of those words that some people already know in Spanish. I'm pretty sure I had heard it before. Not sure where - maybe on Breaking Bad. I also learned >>hermanos<< (brothers) from watching it. Did you know there's a Spanish remake of Breaking Bad?

2 - Today's word reminds me of my time working in corporate la-la land. I had some great bosses. I also had one or two that were. . .perhaps it's best if I don't finish that thought.

3 - For the most part, I enjoyed working, but I have to say that I enjoy not working even more.

4 - It's so nice not to have to set an alarm every morning.

Any good work stories you want to share? Are you the boss at work and/or at home? What's your favorite word that starts with "J"?

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Tickety Boo, Tickety Boo, Barracuda Bob

Docks at Marsh Harbour.

When you meet fellow cruisers, one of the things you talk about is what kind of boat you have and what it’s name is.

Whenever I tell folks that our boat is named Tickety Boo, the menfolk raise their eyebrows and give Scott a look which means, “Wow, how’d your wife sucker you into giving your boat such a ridiculous name?” The women usually say something like, “Oh, that’s so cute!” Scott just hangs his head in shame.

So imagine how Scott felt when I told him that the name of our dinghy was Boo Boo. Yeah, he wasn’t impressed.

Now imagine how Scott felt when he had dinghied over to shore and had to call me back on the boat using our portable VHF.

“Tickety Boo, Tickety Boo, Boo Boo,” he whispered into the VHF so that no one would overhear him.

“Boo Boo, Tickety Boo. Switch 1-7,” I replied with a smile on my face because it sounded so darn cute when he said “Boo Boo.”

{FYI - That’s how you hail other boats and shore parties on the VHF in the Bahamas. You say the name of the party you’re hailing twice, followed by your name once.}

When Scott got back to the boat, he said that we needed to talk.

“There’s no way that I’m going to say Boo Boo on the VHF again,” he said. “Next time I call you from shore, I’m just going to say, ‘Tickety Boo, Tickety Boo, Shore Party.’”

“But saying 'Shore Party' is so boring, my little Boo Boo,” I said.

He winced. We don’t use pet names for each other and the thought of me calling him ‘my little Boo Boo’ was probably a step too far.

“Fine, let’s go with something else like Barracuda Bob,” he said.

I agreed. After all, marriage is all about compromise. By the way, don’t tell Scott, but I think “Barracuda Bob” is kind of a cute name. Almost as cute as Boo Boo.

So next time you hear someone say on the VHF, “Tickety Boo, Tickety Boo, Barracuda Bob,” you’ll know that’s us.

****

Honestly the whole Boo Boo/Barracuda Bob thing was the biggest highlight of the past several days of our time in Marsh Harbour. We’ve been stuck here forever due to a stationary front. The wind has been ridiculous. Pretty much all we’ve been doing is lazing about and replenishing Tickety Boo’s supplies of groceries, diesel, water and gas, as well as doing a load of laundry and dropping off engine oil to be recycled.

I don’t think we could have stood one more day of such overwhelming excitement, so when the weather finally took a turn for the better, we hightailed it out of here and headed out of the harbor as fast as we could, ending up anchored outside of Hope Town.

Doing laundry at the Classic Coin Wash. Only $2.50 per wash. Dryers were much more expensive, so we hung our clothes up to dry back on the boat.

One of the marinas at Marsh Harbour. We prefer anchoring in the harbour as opposed to paying to stay at marinas, although a hot shower would be nice.

Snappas - a very popular place to eat and drink in Marsh Harbour. We actually haven't eaten out at all since we've been in the Bahamas. We're quite happy cooking and eating aboard Tickety Boo.

Cruising Log | Thursday, 13 April 2017 – Monday, 17 April 2017

13 APRIL
Baked cookies and whole wheat bread. Figure the whole grain in the bread helps balance out the sugar in the cookies. Scott got diesel, water, propane and groceries. Topped up water tanks. Did some tidying up. Small spaces become disorderly quite quickly. Dinghy seems to be holding air. Nautical miles = Nil. Engine hours = Nil. Spending = $113.36 ($83.60 – 19.2 gallons diesel, $4 – 22 gallons water, $13.11 – groceries, $3.65 – pasty brushes, $7 -  propane)

14 APRIL
Not much to report except dinghy still seems to be holding air. Nautical miles = Nil. Engine hours = Nil. Spending = Nil.

15 APRIL
Still not much to report. Nautical miles = Nil. Engine hours = Nil. Spending = Nil.

16 APRIL
Changed the oil. Oil extractor was uncooperative. Made it sit in the corner and think about what it had done. Then it became more cooperative. Nautical miles = Nil. Engine hours = 1 hr 0 mins. Spending = Nil

17 APRIL
Did grocery shopping and laundry. Got gas and water. Turned on the engine at 12:15 PM and motored over to Matt Lowe’s Cay for the night, but too many boats there already and no place left to escape from the wind. Motored over to Hope Town and dropped anchor outside of the harbor at 2:45 PM. Hung laundry up to dray on the lifelines. Went for a quick dip. Dinghy patch not working, but the leak is now a slow leak. {Sigh} Nautical miles = 7. Engine = 2 hrs 30 mins. Spending = $73.78 ($57.28 – groceries, $2.50 – 1 load of laundry, wash only, $14 – 2.8 gallons gas, $0 – water free if buy gas).

Do you call your partner pet names? If so, what are they (G-rated only please)? Have you ever been stuck in a place for days because of the weather? How'd you cope?

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Our Very Own Deserted Island | Cave Cay, Abacos, Bahamas

“Come on, let’s figure out what your Myers-Briggs type is,” I said to Scott over our morning coffee. “It’ll be fun!”

“For the millionth time, Ellen, the answer is no. There’s no way I’m going to let you do that mumbo-jumbo psychology voodoo stuff on me. You can always go back and get a job in HR if you miss putting people into boxes based on personality type.”

While I shuddered at the thought of going back in working in corporate la-la land, Scott got out our Explorer Bahamas charts and pointed to an island about 30 nautical miles from where we were currently anchored on the Little Bahama Bank.

“What do you think about going to Cave Cay to hide out from the weather that’s headed our way. Lawrence told me about it back at Indiantown. You remember Lawrence, don't you? He said no one ever goes there. It will be like our very own deserted island.”

“See, I knew it! You’re an ‘I’ when it comes to Myers-Briggs. You have a preference for introversion.”

“We’ve been married for 25 years and you’ve just now figured this out?” Scott asked with derision.

“No, I’ve always known it. In fact I think I know what your type is already.”

Scott put down his coffee cup and shook his head. “I think I know what your type is too. The type that has to know what everyone else’s type is so that they can sort and catalog them.”

I didn’t like the turn the conversation was taking. It was time to change the subject. “Shouldn’t we get going? We’ve got a ways to go and I want to get the anchor down at a reasonable time.”

****

Yes, back in my days back in corporate la-la land, I worked in HR in the organizational development team and one of the things we did was help people better understand themselves, the strengths they bring to their roles, how to work more effectively in teams etc. Myers-Briggs was one of the tools we used which I really liked.

If you want to know more about it, I wrote a blot post about personality type and writing styles a while back which you can check out. Maybe one day I’ll do some musings on Myers-Briggs and different types of cruisers.

But you didn’t come here to read about personality, did you? You popped by to see what we’ve been up to since we’ve been cruising in the Bahamas. So here’s the high-level scoop on what’s been happening since we crossed over from Florida:

1 – The weather sucks.

2 – Stuff broke.

3 – Sugary treats help improve one’s mood.

4 – Noseeums are evil.

5 – Sharks are scary.

I bet you want to know more, especially about the shark.

Let’s start with the shark. Because we hadn’t cleared into the Bahamas yet, we couldn’t step foot on land, but we could snorkel. Which we did. On one of our outings, Scott pointed out a 6-7' shark to me. Very helpful of him. Here’s how I reacted:

“Shark! Shark! Shark!”

All said at the top of my lungs while I kicked furiously with my flippers.

Later Scott pointed out that perhaps this wasn’t the best reaction. Screaming and making a commotion in the water makes me look like an interesting snack to sharks. The better thing to do would have been to calmly swim in the other direction. I don’t do calm very well, especially when there are sea monsters involved.

Turns out it was a nurse shark and likely to have been more scared of me than I was of him.

On our way to do some snorkeling at Cave Cay.

Let’s turn to noseeums. They aren’t scary, but they sure are annoying. And they love me. They express their love by leaving tons of tiny, itchy bites all over me. For some reason, they don’t love Scott. That’s annoying too. Misery loves company, but turns out I was the only miserable one scratching away.

I did a lot of cooking including a delicious coffee cake. I love the idea of coffee cake – not only does it have sugar in it, but it’s topped with more sugar. Yum.

I also make more nutritious things, like pita bread and hummus.

Pita bread, fresh from the grill, with olives, carrots and a little vino.

There’s a saying that cruising is fixing things in exotic locations. I had to get out our sewing machine and fix a tear on our bimini. The cool part is that I did it without electricity, using our monster wheel to manually operate the machine. Our port water tank started leaking on our way to Cave Cay and Scott sorted that out.

Half the battle in repairing a bimini is getting the canvas positioned in the machine.

 
When we weren’t busy swatting at noseeums, fixing stuff, screaming at sharks and stuffing our face, we were listening to the wind howl (we measured gusts up to 26, but I think they got higher than that) and trying to keep our balance while the waves crashed into our boat on the beam from one direction while the wind slammed at us from another. Scott doesn’t have a problem with his balance. Me, not so much and I have the bruises to prove it.

On our last day, a big catamaran came into the anchorage. They took one look at us and anchored far away. I think they might have a preference for introversion too.

{FYI for those interested in cruising to Cave Cay, you go south from Great Sale Cay to the Sale South waypoint, then east to the West End Bars waypoint, head east some more and there it is to the south of West End Cay and Little Abaco Island. Heads up that there's some skinny water along the way.}

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Cruising Log – Wednesday, 29 March 2017 – Monday, 3 April 2017

29 MARCH
Anchor up 8:00 AM. Anchor down 5:45 PM on the banks. Sailed for little over four hours. Slow going. Very little wind. Getting nowhere fast, so put the motor back on. Bimini starting to come apart on one of the seams I didn’t restitch before we left. Lots of flying fish skipping across the water like stones someone was throwing. Dolphin! Our sail cover is a pain to get on. Nautical Miles = 31. Engine = 5 hrs 30 mins. Spending = Nil.

30 MARCH
Roly-poly night anchored on the banks. Anchor up 7:15 AM. Put the sails up and turned engine off at 8:15 AM. Lovely sail. Checked bilge at 11:30 AM - full of water. Realized our port water tank leaking. Had to put engine on and take down the sails to keep from heeling so water would stop leaking out. Anchor down at Cave Cay at 1:15 PM. Greeted by a barracuda. Sorted out the water tank, cleaned out the bilge. Nautical Miles = 29. Engine = 6 hrs 0 mins. Spending = Nil.

31 MARCH
Another roly-poly night. Waves coming one direction and slamming into our beam, wind coming from other direction (SW 15-20, gusting to 26). Anchor well dug-in. Always reassuring. Made coffee cake and bread. Snorkeling. Watched Breaking Bad and movies. Nautical Miles = Nil. Engine = Nil. Spending = Nil.

1 APRIL
Rain in the morning. Wind subsided. Wasn’t as roly-poly. Took bimini down and repaired with our Sailrite sewing machine. Used the monster wheel, so didn’t need electricity. Sewing took less time than getting Sailrite and supplies out of the v-berth. More snorkeling. Shark heading towards me! Scott scared him off and saved my life. Bobby the Barracuda and possible stone fish also sighted. Nautical Miles = Nil. Engine = Nil. Spending = Nil.

2 APRIL
Lots and lots of noseeum bites. Spent the day trying not to itch them. Bobby the Barracuda hung about our boat. They’re curious little creatures. Too bad about their sharp, pointy teeth. Decanted some drinking water from our jerry cans into smaller containers. More snorkeling. Nautical Miles = Nil. Engine = Nil. Spending = Nil.

3 APRIL
Even more noseeum bites. Stupid noseeums. I bet even their own mothers don’t like them. Made pita bread and hummus. Nautical Miles = Nil. Engine = Nil. Spending = Nil.

Do you know what your Myers-Briggs type is? Would you like to spend time anchored at a deserted island or would you prefer to be around more people?

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Flashback Friday | Cruising Couples & Ways Of Sailing

Today is Michael d’Agostino’s Flashback Friday. The idea is to republish an old post of yours that maybe didn't get enough attention, or that you're really proud of, or you think is still relevant etc. We started this blog three years ago and have lots more followers now then we did back then (thank you all!) so many folks may not have seen some of our earlier blog posts. 

I originally wrote this post when Scott and I were getting ready to move onto our sailboat in New Zealand full-time. Living and cruising on a boat full-time really puts your relationship to the test. The quarters and cramped, there are some very stressful moments and you have to work as a team. Fortunately, we passed the test.

It's interesting to look back on this in terms of how I wrote blog posts back then. Talk about some long paragraphs. I try to write in a shorter, sharper style now, although I don't always succeed.

{This post was originally published in November 2013. You can find it here.}

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This is what we could call our team-building event - "Hands Across The Sea." How very mushy and romantic. Somehow I don't think this is the way to get Scott on board. Maybe we should go with something like "Battling Together Through Monster Waves & Gale Force Winds (With Valium For Ellen)." That might do the trick.
Image via the Graphics Fairy

Back when I worked in corporate la-la land, we used to do all sorts of fun team-building activities. Well, they were fun for those of us in the HR team who “facilitated” the activities. HR people like to use the term “facilitation” in relation to energizing, productive activities which everyone gets to collaborates in and which improve business outcomes. Other people might call them “time-wasting” events made even worse by the lack of catering due to budget cuts. These naysayers clearly don’t work in HR. We have their names on file.

Since I don’t have anyone to “facilitate” anymore and I really need to keep my skills sharp, I decided that Scott and I should do a team-building activity. He is so excited. (That was sarcasm just in case you aren’t familiar with the concept.) I’ve decided we should think about our “ways of working” while out on the sailboat. If you abbreviate it you get WOW!!! Which makes it sound so exciting!!! And, if you use lots of exclamation points, your teammates can’t wait to join in the fun!!! At least that was our theory in HR. Scott isn’t really buying into this, so I’m calling it our “ways of sailing” or WOS which sounds rather dull but a bit more acceptable to Skipper Scott. I think he went into archaeology for a reason – most of the people he has to deal with are already dead and team-building isn’t really a priority for them.

But if you’re going to start cruising full-time as a couple, then you really should think through how you’re going to communicate, what each others expectations are, what each of you brings to the party and how you’re going to work together. Otherwise someone could end up dead. Literally. Or you could just end up getting on each others nerves. Not as bad as dead, but not so much fun either. After all, our boat is only 26’ and it is pretty hard to avoid each other. And as much fun as a mutiny sounds, it really isn’t all that practical. So instead, here are a few preliminary ideas of things we need to think about when putting together our “ways of sailing”. We’ll be spending this summer in New Zealand cruising full-time which will give us a good opportunity to see what works and what doesn’t so that we can establish some awesome “ways of sailing” before we buy our next boat in the States and continue our cruising adventures.

Communication 

When I took my sailing course with Penny Whiting, a number of the women were telling stories about their husbands yelling at them. It sounded horrible to be honest. I guess that under pressure some of these guys get frustrated and take it out on their wives. You’ll be glad to know that Skipper Scott isn’t the yelling type. He has only yelled at me once and that is when I did something phenomenally stupid and almost lost a finger. And that’s probably when yelling is appropriate – to alert someone to danger. Other than that, it really isn’t useful. But I do think we need to work through how to communicate when the pressure is on (like mooring the boat in really high winds or anchoring in difficult situations when you can’t hear each other) so that we each know what needs to be done clearly and quickly. 

My very clever sister studied American Sign Language and while we’re not going to learn a new language, I think developing some sort of simple hand signals would be useful for shorthand communication in certain situations. The only sign language I know has to do with your middle finger. But that's never a nice sign to make so I’m going to ask my sister for some tips for more productive signs. 

[Side Note: I do have one sign language tip if you happen to find yourself in New Zealand. If you want to wish someone "peace" make sure you have the "V" you make with your fingers the right way around. Otherwise, you've just said something very naughty. I am always getting this one wrong. It's embarrassing.]

Learning Styles

One of the things we found when we chartered boats up in the Bay of Islands in previous years and then sailing on our own boat last summer in the Hauraki Gulf is that Scott and I have very different learning styles. Scott is by far much more experienced at sailing then I am, so he is often in the position of having to teach me things. He has taken the approach of telling me how to do something and then showing it to me several times. Over and over and over. I rarely learn the skill he is trying to teach me despite the number of times he tries to explain it to me. And that’s because that's not my ideal learning style. Things work better for me if I read about it and then try to do it myself until I figure it out. Which still takes me ages but I find it less frustrating to be experimenting on my own rather then watch someone do something. Scott learns differently so he teaches the way he likes to learn. It took us a while to figure this out. There might have been some tears along the way. But nothing some chocolate couldn’t fix. Something we’ll keep working on this summer as I have lots and lots to learn about this sailing stuff.

Sailing vs. Traveling

One of the things that seems to be discussed in the cruising community is whether you’re in it for the sailing or traveling. Some people love the sailing aspect of cruising, others see the sailboat as a means of transportation to exotic destinations. While Scott loves traveling, he also loves sailing. He thinks racing is exhilarating and big crashing waves and high winds bring a smile to his face. I am the exact opposite. I’m looking for a pleasant day out on the water, a chance to read my books, lots of yummy snacks and the opportunity to enjoy different anchorages. One of the things we’ll need to work through is the right balance of sailing vs. travelling for both of us. And maybe as I learn more about sailing, one day I’ll think that being heeled over at an extreme angle with water crashing into the cockpit is the best thing since sliced bread. Or maybe not. Time will tell.

Pink & Blue Jobs

In our non-cruising world, I would never expect or accept such a demarcation between “pink” and “blue” jobs that you can find in cruising couples. But it seems like many women gravitate towards more pink jobs such as provisioning, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. whereas the menfolk have more responsibility for boat maintenance, the engine, lifting heavy things like anchors and dinghies etc. And I can see why. I would much rather do the shopping and make dinner than fix a toilet or figure out what is wrong the engine. But this isn’t probably sustainable in the long run. Sure, there will always be things that only Scott can do because he is stronger, but we probably both need to make sure that we have familiarity with all the different types of jobs on the boat. It just makes good sense in case one of us is sick or incapacitated. And I also think it would take the pressure off of Scott to be the “expert” in everything. And I know one day he would love it if we were co-captains. Personally, I think that day is a long way off. But that’s what our shake-down summer cruising is all about, to figure stuff like this out.

We would be interested to hear how other cruising couples work together as a team on their boats. What issues have you worked through and what ways of sailing have you developed together?

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Flashback Friday | 10 Steps To Becoming A Full-Time Cruiser

Today is Michael d’Agostino’s Flashback Friday. The idea is to republish an old post of yours that maybe didn't get enough attention, or that you're really proud of, or you think is still relevant etc. We started this blog three years ago and have lots more followers now then we did back then (thank you all!) so many folks may not have seen some of our earlier blog posts. 

I wrote this post when we we were about to move onto our first sailboat in New Zealand and embrace a lifestyle of full-time cruising. Overall, our experience living on our boat and cruising in New Zealand was successful and, although life got in the way with family and other matters and delayed our plans, we decided to continue to pursue the cruising lifestyle. 

It was interesting to look back at the steps we took to transition to this way of life. Overall, I think the approach we took worked for us and prepared us reasonably well for our insane adventure. But that doesn't mean they would work for others. This form of insanity certainly isn't one size fits all and everyone needs to find their own path.

{This post was originally published in December 2013. You can find it here.}

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The clock is ticking down and we're just weeks away from becoming "official" full-time cruisers. I was chatting with someone recently about what's involved in making the transition from land to boat and thought it was a good prompt to jot down our 10 steps to becoming full-time cruisers. It is always good to document your moments of insanity.

1.  Get yourself some passion (and brainwash your partner).

For us, the passion started with Scott when he helped a friend move a boat in the Mediterranean years ago. He fell in love with this whole sailing thing on that trip. After that he began his brainwashing campaign to convince me that this sailing thing is even better than sliced bread. Often the sailing dream starts with one partner and then the other person embraces the madness later. The important thing is to make sure it is something you both want to do and be clear why each of you wants to do it. For Scott it is the sailing and the traveling. For me, it is more the traveling and the chance to do something completely bonkers.

2.  Learn how to sail (and keep learning). 

This seems like a no brainer, but everyone has different ideas about what level of sailing experience and knowledge you need to get out there and start cruising. Scott has much more experience than I do. He has probably sailed close to 9,000 nautical miles (both cruising and racing) in New Zealand and Europe, has taken the Yachtmaster Offshore Theory course and has his VHF certificate. And he has been thinking and reading about sailing for years. But Scott would be the first one to say that there is so much to learn and he is far from an expert and much more in the beginner camp. And that's what is great about sailing, there is always something new to learn. You won't get bored and your brain won't shrivel up from lack of stimulus. 

Next to Scott, I know nothing about sailing. Next to experienced cruisers, I know even less. Early on, before we first started chartering boats, I took a four day practical sailing class which gave me basic knowledge about sailing and enough confidence to be the crew to Skipper Scott. But I still have lots and lots to learn and I'm currently putting together a list of specific skills that I want to develop and practice this summer when we're out cruising. Any suggestions on what I should have on my list would be warmly welcomed.

3.  Buy a boat (it doesn't have to be your forever boat).

For us the next big step was to buy our very own boat. We bought a small, older boat in New Zealand which we used to sail around the Hauraki Gulf last summer whenever we could get away. We know she won't be our forever boat, but she has been a great boat to cut our teeth on. She was relatively inexpensive (a lot of people might spend more on a car) so we didn't think we could go too far wrong buying her. However, when we buy our next boat, we'll be spending a lot more money (well a lot of money for us), so we've been doing a lot of research on boat buying and different types of boats. Frankly it is overwhelming and we do worry we'll get it wrong. So maybe our next boat won't be a forever boat either, but just a bigger boat. Lots and lot more research and thinking to be done.

4.  Figure out what your high-level plan is (don't worry, it isn't set in concrete).

You need some sort of plan, but for us, I think it should be a high-level kind of plan. Because things change. And they change again. If your plan is too detailed and fixed then you might get hung up on the detail and not be able to go with the flow when things change and new opportunities present themselves.

At the very least you need to figure out when and where you're going to start cruising. For us, we're starting off cruising full-time in New Zealand because that's where we live and where our boat it. We'll spend 3 to 3-1/2 months sailing here on kind of an extended shake-down cruise to figure out what works for us and learn lots and lots of stuff about boats, sailing and ourselves. After that, our plan is to head back to the States, buy a bigger boat and then start cruising again. The current plan is to buy a boat on the East Coast and then head down to the Caribbean, but maybe we'll start on the West Coast or in the Great Lakes instead. All we know is that we'll start cruising again in North America, everything else is still up in the air.

It also helps to have a "get out" card. We've been talking about trying this out for a couple of years and seeing how it goes. I think you need to do something crazy like this for at least a couple of years so that you can experience all of the highs and lows and make an informed decision about whether you want to carry on. I imagine the first year of cruising is one of the most challenging ones, so I think calling it a day after just one year probably isn't sensible. And even if you just do it for two years, what an incredible two years of adventure that would be.

5.  Share your plan with the whānau (family), your friends and colleagues (and then quietly freak out).

I recently read a post on Wright Away Sails Away which talked about how they just "spilled the beans" about their cruising plans with their work colleagues. It is such a turning point when you tell people about your crazy plans. It makes it real and in some ways there is no going back. We started telling folks earlier this year and it was a strange feeling. Our family is really supportive and not really too surprised about it. But I guess when you take a job in New Zealand and move there, having never actually been to New Zealand before, then you might get a reputation for doing strange things. But my mom worries - about the tsunamis, the boat capsizing, pirates, hurricanes etc. I don't think it helped when she saw All Is Lost and Captain Phillips in the space of week. Heck, I worry about those things too! But she hasn't tried to talk us out of it and it has been fun sharing our plans and preparation with her. She always has some good advice and/or thought provoking questions.

When it comes to friends, some of them think it is fantastic and wish they could convince their partner to do something like this (these are generally the people Scott races with). Some people think we're weird, but they probably thought that before. I can't think of any negative reaction that we've gotten from anyone. Or at least they haven't said so to our face. So, telling people went well for us. It just made it really, really real. And it is okay to freak out quietly from time to time once you realize what you're about to do. Because only a truly crazy person wouldn't occasionally think they were crazy.

6.  Figure out the money side of things (because this is the one thing everyone asks you about).

Unfortunately, cruising costs money so you do need to get your financial house in order. While we were definitely impacted by the global financial crisis aka "GFC" (like so many people), we're more fortunate than others and have some savings which we can use to fund our cruising. If you had asked me a couple of years ago, I might have really hesitated about chucking in the job in corporate la-la land with its regular pay checks due to our current post-GFC financial position, but I've recently realized that we're middle aged and we're only getting to get older. So, why not do it now while we can. Because, it could all go to hell again anyways with another GFC or worse.

We don't know how much cruising will cost us, but we've certainly read everything we can find about how much it costs others. It is so much fun to be nosey that way! We've been tracking how much we spend at a very detailed level for the past several months to get a handle on where our money goes and where we can cut back. We'll keep doing that, try to live a frugal cruising lifestyle and see how it goes.

On a related note, I like this post on This Rat Sailed which talks about money being "freedom chips". He talks about how many of us trade money away for a new car, nice clothes etc. all to keep up with the Joneses. But if you turn things around and think of money as "freedom chips" then you are much clearer about why you are earning money and what you are spending it on - in this case "freedom" from the rat race and all of its materialism. (Interestingly, they don't give any personal details on their blog as their family doesn't know about their plans yet. Not sure if they have done Step 5 yet?)

7.  Get rid of everything (well almost everything).

You can only fit so much on a 26' boat, so I've been on a mission to get rid of everything in New Zealand. I really don't have too much here to begin with (most of our stuff is still in Scotland which is a really long story), but it has still taken me a while to go through it and pare down to the essentials. The things I have found the hardest are getting rid of my books and clothes. I love books, but I have millions. They're heavy and they take up room so they have to go. I've also found it hard to get rid of the last of my work clothes. I think somewhere in the back of my head I've been thinking, "What if this doesn't work out and I have to go back to work?" What a depressing thought. But the clothes are gone now and I won't be going back to work anytime soon unless it is the type of place where you can wear shorts, t-shirts and jandals.

8.  Prepare and prepare some more (and then realize you can never fully prepare).

Oh my goodness, there is so much to think through when it comes to getting ready to live on a boat from provisioning (how much food storage do we really need), storage (where is everything really going to fit), water (how much water do we need for drinking and cooking and how bad will we start to smell without a shower), medical kits (what do we need to stock up when we leave New Zealand), how would you anchor under sail if your engine died (and how do you fix an engine)...and the list goes on and on and on. Too much to think about, let's move on.

9.  Figure out how you're going to work and play together as a cruising couple.

Scott and I have been married for coming up to 22 years, but we've never really worked together professionally or lived together 24/7. So moving onto a 26' sailboat and cruising together full-time may take some adjustments. Personally, I think we'll do fine as the basis of our relationship is humor and fun and we get along really well. But, even if you've been with your partner for ages and you like him/her, you still really need to figure out how you're going to work and play together as a cruising couple. And talk about it some more. Because, let's face it this is the biggest team-building course you'll ever do together. You can read some more on our thoughts on cruising couples here.

10.  Just do it!

This isn't a Nike advert. We used to live in Portland and some of the folks in that town had drunk way too much of the company Koolaid and had little swoosh tattoos on their ankles. I thought that was just plain crazy, but you have to admit their slogan "Just do it!" makes sense. So that's the final step in the plan - just get out there and do it. Things will go wrong, things will go right and there will be surprises and adventures along the way. But you do have a blog to update, so unless you get out there and do it, things will get pretty boring in blogland.

What advice would you give to someone who is thinking about living and cruising on a sailboat? What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
 

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Godzilla, Tiaras & #BlatantBrag

So, what made you want to read this blog post? Was it the promise of Godzilla wearing a sparkly tiara or were you wondering what #BlatantBrag was all about?

Let’s start with #BlatantBrag. Notice how I put a hash tag in front of it to seem like I’m young and hip? Everyone has their own way of coping with their midlife crisis. Hash tags are mine.

When it comes to bragging, there’s three kinds of people in this world:

#NoBrag

These are the people who never, ever brag about their achievements. They’re self-effacing, turn bright red and change the subject if you dare to praise them for something they’ve accomplished. I admire these people. I strive to be like them. Sadly, I don’t always succeed at it.

#HumbleBrag

People who #humblebrag are sneaky little creatures. They’ll say something self-deprecating or downplay their achievements all with the intent of making you actually notice how awesome they are. “Oh no, I dropped the keys to my new Porsche into the swimming pool at the country club. I’m such a klutz!” Yep, I’ll admit it. I can be a sneaky little creature at times. I’m guilty of the #humblebrag.

#BlatantBrag

We're in the midst of a election cycle, so there's plenty of #blatantbrag being thrown around these days. Folks running for office are often quite skilled in the art of #blatantbrag. This is where you don’t give a hoot about what people think – you’re great, you’ve done great things and you’re not ashamed to admit it.

I never thought I had much in common with a political candidate, but turns out I’m guilty of the #blatantbrag too. Have you noticed how I’ve openly and shamelessly told you how awesome I am for fixing my car both here and on Facebook? I’m such a #blatantbragger that I even gave myself my own certificate.

Well, in my defense (which is just the type of thing a #blatantbragger says to keep on bragging for just a little bit longer), I was pretty darn proud of myself for stepping way outside of my comfort zone and tackling something I would never, ever have dreamed of doing if Scott was here.

Our dynamic, which I imagine others of my generation are familiar with, is that men fix things and women bake brownies to reward them for fixing things. Obviously, I’m greatly oversimplifying things to make a point. But, in general, I’m really much more comfortable letting Scott take the lead on mechanical, engineering, building, fixing type activities and will happily pass him tools and brownies as required.

With Scott away, when things break I have three choices:

(1) Ignore it.

(2) Pay someone else to fix it.

(3) Fix it myself.

While option #1 has its appeal, there are some things I just can’t ignore. Like leaks on my boat, my engine not working or my car breaking. Option #2 sounds great except for one tiny problem – we’re on a budget. So, that leaves me with option #3 – channel my inner Godzilla, slap on a sparkly tiara to remind myself of my #girlpower and fix things myself.

Usually, I procrastinate things as long as I can, but when my car broke down it was a matter of life and death. Maybe not life and death, but not having a car meant a long, hot walk was involved in order to get groceries. I hate getting sweaty, so I got on the internet and, in between cute cat videos on YouTube, I researched what was wrong with my car.

By the way, I have the best boat neighbors ever. If one of them hadn’t knocked on my boat one night to tell me one of my headlights was on, it would have drained the battery and left me rather confused the next morning. It was late at night, so (#blatantbrag alert) I popped the hood, disconnected the battery and saved the battery all by myself.

After many frustrating hours on the internet (the WiFi drops all the time here), I found electrical diagrams for our old 1995 Nissan Pathfinder and stared at them blankly. After many more frustrating hours on the internet researching how to read electrical diagrams, they finally started to make a little bit of sense.

Then, I discovered the joys of online forums and YouTube channels dedicated to car repair. There are some very enthusiastic people on these forums. Not sure I could muster up the same level of enthusiasm that they have, but I’m very thankful that they’re out there. What did we do before the internet?

Thanks to these enthusiastic folks, I figured that the problem was a short somewhere in the headlight switch which was causing the left headlight to stay on. {For those auto repair enthusiasts out there thinking to yourself, why didn’t she look at the relay, there isn’t a relay for the headlights in the Nissan Pathfinder. Strange, but true.}

Time to face the Fearsome Metal Machine (that’s what I affectionately call the Pathfinder) and dismantle it. A Fearsome Metal Machine can only be faced by a worthy adversary, like Godzilla. (I imagine someone has made a movie like this - Godzilla vs. the Fearsome Metal Machine). I whispered reassuring mantras to myself and willed myself into a Godzilla-like trance, “You are Godzilla. You are large and intimidating. The Fearsome Metal Machine will cower at the sight of you. Your thick, scaly skin will protect you from the Fearsome Metal Machine’s ray guns.” There was more along these lines running through my head, but you get the idea.

The first task (or Level 1) was to take the cover off of the steering column by removing four screws. Unlike the real Godzilla, my inner Godzilla has opposable thumbs so I was able to use a screwdriver for this task.

Did you ever notice reality never matches what you read on the internet? The internet guys clearly said remove the four screws. Turns out there were six screws, not four. What do I do? Remove all six? Randomly guess which are the four that need to be removed? Go back into my air conditioned boat and watch soothing cat videos? I decided to remove all six.

Here's another thing - did you ever notice that you never have the right tool for the job? Turns out screws #5 and #6 required a screwdriver with a long shaft to get to them. We have 13 screwdrivers (I know things like this now). None of them worked. Thanks goodness for my friend Bruce. Any tool you need, that’s the man to ask.

After removing all six screws, this is what I found. Scary, isn’t it? Level 2 unlocked. I claimed a sparkly tiara as my prize.

 
The next task was to was remove the headlight switch by removing yet more screws. Two screws later and I had released the headlight switch from captivity. By the way, it sounds simple when you sum it up in twelve words. It wasn’t. Trust me. I can see why the directions said that you needed a screwdriver and one to two beers to accomplish the task.

Then I had to disconnect the headlight switch from the pretty colored wires going up through the steering column. This took ages. It wouldn’t come off. I was afraid I was going to break it. I was out of beer and sweat was getting everywhere. What’s with the sweat? Godzilla is a reptile. Godzilla doesn’t sweat. Finally, Level 3 was unlocked. I claimed a cape worthy of Wonder Woman as my prize.

Next up – taking the switch out of the housing. The instructions were to use two flat head screwdrivers and pry it out. And drink two beers. Seriously, this guy was having a laugh. There is no possible way, Godzilla or not, to get the switch out of the housing using just two screwdrivers. I tried every way imaginable. I even put the end of one screwdriver in my mouth and jammed the other one against my stomach for leverage. All I ended up with was a disgusting taste in my mouth and bruises on my belly. I deserved those two beers.

I gave up at this point for a while.

Then I had a brainstorm worthy of my tiara and cape. The answer was hair barrettes. Yes, hair barrettes. #Girlpower to the rescue. I jammed tiny hair barrettes in the sides of the housing to keep the stupid plastic tabs from locking the housing in place and then pulled with all of my Godzilla strength until it slid out. Level 3 unlocked. I now had a shiny scepter in one hand and a cold beer in the other.

Oh goody. Time to remove more screws and reveal the inner mysteries of the switch and its magical contacts which make power flow to the headlights on demand. You can see where the switch is burned from when the electricity arced and allowed one of the headlights to stay on.

I cleaned the contacts with special electrical cleaner and q-tips. Easy peasy. Then, I realized that I needed apply some more dielectric grease on the contacts. I’ve got a lot of weird and wonderful potions on this boat, but no dielectric grease. So, back I went to ask Bruce to lend me some. I knew he’d have some. He has everything. I think we’re going to stalk them (I mean buddy boat with them) out on the water. They’re the boat you want to be next to when something on yours breaks.

 
After putting on the dielectric grease it was time to reassemble everything. I basically worked backwards, screwed everything back together and put the newly cleaned and greased up headlight switch back in the car. Then, I cleaned up down below on the boat. That’s when I found some extra screws. Darn. So, I took things back apart, put the screws in where they belong and told my inner Godzilla he could have the rest of the week off.

So, there you go – Godzilla, tiaras and #blatantbrag all woven into an odd little tale of amateur auto repair.

What are you proud of? What’s your biggest achievement? Go on, give us some #blatantbrag.

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Convincing Your Partner To Go Adventuring By Boat, RV Or Camel

For those of you who were wondering why there wasn't a blog post on Wednesday (like my mom), I had computer troubles. We've resurrected this laptop from the dead a couple of times already, but it still likes to taunt me with the Blue Screen of Death from time to time or, like earlier this week, freeze up and then pretend it doesn't know what I'm talking about when I go to look for my draft blog posts. It seems to be behaving itself today, so here's the blog post I had hoped to publish earlier this week.

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From time to time I get emails or comments on our blog asking me how Scott convinced me to chuck it all in, get rid of most of our stuff, buy a sailboat, move onto a sailboat and go off adventuring without the security of a regular pay check coming in each month.

I imagine other people may be in the same situation. They have a dream to go off adventuring, but their partner isn’t too keen on the whole idea. It might go something like this:

"I really want to sell our house, buy an RV and travel around the States, but my wife worries about being so far away from the grand kids."

Or like this:

"Can you imagine anything better than buying a sailboat and sailing to the Pacific Islands?! I know my girlfriend is afraid of the water, but what’s the problem? She can take swimming classes. It would be a once in a lifetime adventure!"

 Or even like this, because riding camels is a pretty awesome way to travel:

"Crossing the Saharan desert by camel would be so awesome. I don’t know why my fiancé doesn’t get it. Why can’t he see that working 60 hours a work until we retire isn’t the way we should spend our lives? We need to live life now while we're young enough to enjoy it and have our health."

In an ideal world, both partners would share the same dream and no one would need convincing (like this couple). But, that’s not always the case.

Oftentimes, it’s the bloke who has the dream to go off adventuring by RV, sailboat or even camel and is trying to convince his partner to come with. But not always. I’ve seen posts on some of the sailing and cruising Facebook groups I’m a part of from women wishing they could find men who share their dreams of sailing off into the sunset on a grand adventure.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter who’s convincing whom. What really matters is how to convince your reluctant partner. Because, after all, life is short and you want to get on with your adventuring.

Here’s the secret. Are you ready?

Don’t. Don’t do it. 

Seriously, don’t even try to convince your partner to go adventuring. It could end up in disaster. You can inspire them. You can stir their imagination. You can arouse their interest. You can get them excited about the idea. But convincing them. Complete waste of time.

It might seem like semantics (and in a way I guess it is), but the idea of convincing someone to do something makes me think of reluctant cooperation, of being swayed to do something you don't really want to do or even brainwashed into thinking something is a good idea, when, in your heart, you know it isn't.

Even if you think you’ve convinced your partner to go off adventuring, they may secretly resent you and your stupid ideas and do something passive-aggressive in retaliation. Like putting walnuts in a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Honestly, the worst possible thing you can do to someone.

“Here honey, look what I made you. Chocolate chip cookies hot out of the oven. Go on try one,” says your partner while smiling at you with innocent Bambi eyes. As you bite into one of the cookies eagerly, all of sudden you crunch down into a dreaded walnut and grimace.

“Oh my gosh, I completely forgot that you don’t like walnuts in your chocolate chip cookies! I’m so sorry. Guess I’ll have to eat them all myself. But, at least you have that sailboat that you always wanted. So, I guess it all kind of works out.”

I know that I joke around on our blog about how Scott brainwashed me into getting onboard with this whole cruising dream of his. But, like a lot of stuff on this blog, you really can’t take me too seriously. Except for bringing moas back from the dead. I’m completely serious about that.

So, here’s the dead honest truth. Scott didn’t brainwash me and he didn’t convince me. He just slowly seeded his ideas and his dreams and chipped away at my concerns and fears over time until one day I actually said, “Hey, why don’t we buy a boat.” Seriously, it was my idea to buy our first boat. I’m not sure who was more surprised, Scott or me.

I’ve probably told this story before, but for those of you who are new to the blog, here’s how it happened for us.

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1 - Share your passion. Authentically.

Talk about why you want to go off adventuring. Not with the aim of selling your dream to your partner, but so that they can understand why you're passionate about it and why it's important to you. When you come from a place of authenticity, it's not about convincing your partner to do something, it's about helping them understand you better.

This is what Scott did. When he talked about sailing and cruising and tried to explain why he loved it so much, his eyes lit up and he just got so darn excited. Scott's a pretty stoic guy, so when he gets visibly excited about something, then you know that you should probably pay attention. So, I did. His passion started to be just a little bit contagious.

2 - Be honest about the downsides of the dream.

The last thing you want to do is suck somebody into your mad schemes under false pretenses. "You'll love sailing! You can read books and eat snacks while we're on the water. Then, we'll have tropical cocktails each night in beautiful anchorages. What could possibly go wrong?"

Well, I can tell you from personal experience that a lot can go wrong. If Scott had glossed over all of the downsides of sailing and cruising and I found out about them later after we had bought a boat, then I think things could haven gotten really ugly because I would have felt like I had been tricked somehow and that the dream I had bought into was really a sham.

Scott was really upfront about the good, the bad and the ugly sides of sailing and cruising. As a result, I felt a lot more prepared when we chartered for the first time (and things went horribly wrong) and later when we bought our first boat in New Zealand.

3 - Figure out their fears and concerns.

Scott knows me pretty well, after all, we've been married for a gazillion years, so he was pretty clued into what my fears and concerns might be, which are way too many to list here. One of the things he suggested I do to allay some of my fears was to read blogs by other folks who were just starting out cruising or who had been out there for a while. It helped. I realized that (a) other people worry about the same stuff that I do and (b) they made it work.

4 - Try before you buy.

We did two things that really made a difference for me. First, before taking the plunge and buying a boat, we did a couple of charters in New Zealand. That allowed me to get a tiny taste of what it might be like to cruise full-time. Fortunately, I liked it. Second, we bought a "starter" boat in New Zealand (this was my idea). It was a small, relatively inexpensive boat which we had for a couple of years, and cruised on full-time for a season.

For me, I think it would have been way too overwhelming to buy our "forever" boat first off the bat and it might have even turned me off of the whole thing. Instead, spending time on our "starter" boat got me excited thinking about how much better our next boat would be. By this time, I was fully hooked and it had become our dream.

5 - Go off adventuring! 

This one's kind of self-explanatory. Once it becomes a shared dream, then go off and live it!

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That’s how it worked for us. But, the cold, hard truth is that your partner may never get onboard with your dream to go off adventuring. It happens. And you have to be prepared for that. You might have to chuck your dream in or, better yet, adapt your dream.

For example, some partners don’t want to do ocean passages. So, the keen sailor might get some buddies to do long passages and their partner might fly over to join once they’re safely across the ocean. Or, a couple might downsize to a smaller place near the grand kids and split their time between RVing and their home base. Or, instead of taking a few years off the corporate merry-go-round to ride camels across the Saharan desert, a couple might decide to go backpacking in South America for a couple of months for an extended holiday.

What about you? Do you have a dream you're trying to get your partner onboard with? What ideas do you have for turning your personal dream into a shared dream?

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Shakedown Cruise Review: Relationships On Board

Background - When we decided to become full-time cruisers, rather than buy our "forever" boat and set off around the world, we took a different approach and moved aboard our "for now" boat in New Zealand for the 2013/14 season. We used it as an opportunity to do a shakedown cruise to discover what works and what doesn't for us in terms of the cruising lifestyle before we buy our next boat. This is the seventh in a series of posts on how it all went. 

Once upon a time, I wrote a post about relationships at sea. I tried to anticipate the types of challenges that might come up if we moved aboard a 26' sailboat together. I'm pretty sure 20 plus years of marriage doesn't really prepare you for something like this. But it sure did help. Here are a few of the things I learned about relationships on board during our time cruising in New Zealand.

1. Being the skipper can be stressful (and unfair).

Maybe we need to trade in pink and blue roles for violet ones?

I didn't fully realize how stressful living on a boat was for Scott at times until we moved back on land and he slept soundly through the night without worrying about our floating home. Because he was the skipper of our boat, he took responsibility for our safety, getting the boat from point A to point B and making sure the boat is in good working order. He was basically responsible the engine and everything "up above" and I took care of everything "down below" (like cooking, laundry, cleaning etc). 

Given the fact that Scott is much more experienced than I am when it comes to sailing, the division of  labor made sense at the time. But in reality, it just wasn't fair to Scott to have him be the sole skipper of our boat. I didn't feel like I was pulling my weight in terms of our relationship and my contribution onboard and he always felt like he always had to be on duty. On our next boat, we'll have to find a way to be co-skippers to balance things out a bit better.

2.  Sometimes when you're grumpy with each other, it's just the weather.

It's hard to sleep soundly when you're worried about dragging anchor.

Yes, there were times when we got grumpy with each other. Every couple has those moments (if they say they don't, they're probably lying). We did notice that we got grumpier with each other living on our boat, then we normally do on land. After talking about it, we realized that it wasn't each other that was making us grumpy, it was things outside of our control. Like not being able to sleep because of an annoying swell slamming your boat from side to side. Or being stuck in an anchorage or marina for days and days because of an ex-cyclone. Or staying up all night worried you're going to drag anchor in the middle of a gale. 

When you're sleep deprived and frustrated because things aren't going the way you want them to, sometimes you take it out on your partner. The trick we learned is to realize that it isn't us, it is the weather. And in the end, the weather always gets better and so do our attitudes.

3.  We really do learn differently. 

Math was never my strongest subject in school, but algebra seems like a breeze now compared to some of the stuff I've had to learn when it comes to sailing.

Scott knows more about sailing then I do, so he ended up trying to teach me things and help me practice new skills. The operative word here is "try". I wasn't always the best student and he wasn't always the best teacher - for each other, that is. I'm probably an amazing student for some teachers and Scott is probably an amazing teach for some students, but we have very different learning styles. He learns by watching people, listening to them explain how to do something and asking questions. The he tries it out (often nailing it the first time) and asks for feedback from people as to how he did. I have a more "internal" learning style - I like to read about something, understand the theory behind it, think about it, think about it some more and then maybe try it out in the real world by myself. 

You can imagine how this works when Scott tries to teach me something, like tying a knot. He shows me how to do it while explaining it, then expects me to try it out right then and there. Generally, I just stare at him blankly and then go down below to read about knot tying and think about it while eating a snack.

4.  We both like to travel and explore, but sometimes at different paces.

Where should we travel to next on our boat?

We already knew that we both like to travel and explore - we're both restless vagabonds at heart - and our time cruising in New Zealand affirmed this. However, we do operate at slightly different paces. Scott is a big fan of what he calls "guerrilla tourism". He likes to see as many places as he can and do as many things as he can when he visits someplace. He is a full-on type of traveler. I also like to see and do a lot, but I do require more rest stops and snacks than Scott does. 

So no surprise that when it came to cruising, sometimes I wanted to hang out in a particular anchorage for more than one day and just read a book in the cockpit. Fortunately, we've learned through the years to find the right balance between Scott's full-on mode and my slightly lazier mode.


5.  It's important to have fun together (and be silly). 

If you can get your husband to let you take a picture of him with a box on his head in honor of Boxing Day, then you know you have a keeper.

We wouldn't be married for this long if we didn't have fun together. Otherwise, what's the point? Living on a boat and cruising together can be stressful, so if you can't have fun together and do silly stuff, I don't think you're going to last very long. Overall, we had lots and lots of fun together cruising in New Zealand so we're hoping to get our next boat soon so we can continue our adventures on the water.

What lessons have you learned living with your partner 24/7 on your boat? 

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All images via The Graphics Fairy, except for the photo of Scott with a box on his head.