How'd You Get So Full Of Yourself? | IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) is a place to share and encourage, where writers can express their doubts and concerns without appearing foolish or weak. It's a great place to mingle with like minded people each month during IWSG day.

Every month there's an optional question which may prompt folks to share advice, insights, a personal experience or story. Some folks answer the question in their IWSG blog post or let it inspire them if they're struggling with what to say.

Since we have limited internet access, I have no idea what this month's question prompt is so I made up one of my own:

"How can you eat, considering how full you are of yourself?"

Check out how people have answered this month's question, as well as the other insecurities and writing topics they may have shared by visiting the IWSG sign-up list here. If you want to see how I answered the question, have a look below.

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Image via The Graphics Fairy

Simon the Time Traveling Cat rolled over on his back. "Hey, lady. My belly needs scratching," he growled.

"Simon, I'm right in the middle of making cookies. I don't have time to pet your belly," I said as I stirred chocolate chips into the cookie dough.

Simon jumped up onto the counter and stared into the bowl. "Yuck. Why do you humans eat these things?"

"What a stupid question," I said as I started to scoop balls of dough onto the cookie sheet. "We humans need cookies when things aren't going well."

"Oh no, not this again," he said. "You're always whining about something. Maybe you should take up jogging or something when you're stressed out. Or pet my belly instead. That would be relaxing for you."

"But, Simon, you don't understand..." I said as I tried to pick gray cat fur off of the cookie dough.

"Stop right there, lady," Simon interrupted as he flicked his tail back and forth, getting even more fur everywhere. "You know good and well that unless it involves milk, cat food, scratches behind my ears and time travel, I'm really not interested. That's why I invited Esme over. She can listen to you whine."

"You did what?! You know I can't stand Esme. She's such a busybody. Those life coaches are always interfering in things that don't concern them." As I shooed Simon off of the counter, I knocked the bowl over onto the floor. 

"Now, look what's happened!" I wiped the tears off of my face and sighed.

"Just like a human, always crying over spilled milk. Speaking of milk, get me a saucer of the stuff." Simon jumped over to the settee and pushed my pen off of the table. He turned to me, narrowed his eyes and said, "Come on lady, snap to it! We don't have all day. She'll be here any minute."

"Yoo hoo, is anyone home?" Esme peeked her head down the companionway and spotted me in the galley. "Oh, there you are, dear," she said as she made her way down below and sat next to Simon. She sniffed the air. "Are those cookies I smell? How delightful." 

She took her colorful sunhat off, put it on the table and gave Simon a few scratches behind the ears. "Better get them out of the oven before they burn. And do you mind bringing me a glass of milk? Cookies always taste better with milk."

"Yeah, don't forget about the milk, lady," Simon added as he leaned into Esme's hand for more scratches.

I plopped a plate of cookies, a glass of milk and a saucer of milk down on the table. 

Esme grabbed a cookie and mumbled between bites, "Simon says that you feel like you might be getting a bit full of yourself. How do you feel about that?"

Questions, questions, questions. If she wasn't demanding cookies, Esme was always asking obnoxious questions. I glared at Simon. "Full of myself? Is that what you've been telling people?"

Simon slurped up the last of his milk. "Honestly, I don't know how you manage to eat, considering how full of yourself you are." He stared pointedly at his empty saucer. I ignored him.

"Well, dear. What do you think about what Simon said?" Esme asked as she grabbed another cookie.

I decided it would be easier to answer her questions. The sooner she was satisfied with my answers the sooner she'd be out of here. And maybe, just maybe, there might be some cookies left for me. 

"It's not that I'm full of myself. It's just that I've had to do all of this self-promotion and marketing for the IWSG anthology, Hero Lost: Mysteries of Death and Life, that's going to be published next month. It feels so weird to do things like write an author bio for the publisher, put up a profile on Amazon, ask people to support our Thunderclap campaign and blog tour, you know, that kind of thing."

I grabbed the last cookie before Esme could. She looked at me and didn't say a word. I wasn't sure if that was because she was hoping I would give the cookie to her or if it was one of her life coach Jedi mind tricks where you become so uncomfortable with the silence that you keep talking.

Simon looked at me too, slowly blinking his eyes, but it was clear what he wanted. Another saucer of milk.

I ate my cookie quickly and then blurted out, "Fine, you win, Esme. I'll keep talking. It's just so embarrassing. No one wants to hear about me or the anthology. People are going to think I'm bragging or, worse yet, that I'm some big egomaniac that constantly needs to be in the limelight."

Simon walked sedately across the table, jumped into my lap and sunk his claws into my legs. "Lady, enough about you. You answered Esme's question. No more of this life coaching mumbo-jumbo. Get me some milk, pronto." 

Esme looked at the empty plate. "Do you have any more cookies?"

I pointed at the bowl on the floor. "Nope, the rest of the cookie dough is ruined."

"Well in that case, I better get going. I've got other clients to see." Esme grabbed her hat off the table and climbed up the ladder into the cockpit. She turned and looked down at me. "I think you've made great progress, dear. I'll pop by next week and will continue our coaching session. Maybe some oatmeal raisin cookies next time though?"

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Before you go, considering how full I am of myself, here's a shameless plug for the IWSG anthology,  <<Hero Lost: Mysteries of Death and Life>>. It will be published on May 2nd, but you can pre-order a copy from these online retailers:

Amazon (US) 
Amazon (UK)
Amazon (Canada)
Barnes & Noble
Kobo

If you want to help us spread the word, please consider participating in our Thunderclap campaign or blog tour.




What about you - do you ever worry that people will think you're bragging? If you're an author, do you have any insecurities about self-promotion or tips for overcoming them?

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