"Psst...are you awake?"
"Is that you, Georgie?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "When did you learn how to talk?"
"Don't be daft. Georgie's a cat. Cats don't talk. All they say is meow. Meow this, meow that, all day long. Frankly, it's bloody annoying."
I turned over to look at Georgie on the pillow next to me, her paws twitching as she dreamed about catching lizards and snakes. "If you aren't Georgie, who are you?"
"I'm one of the voices in your head. I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Gus."
"Nice to meet you, Gus. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep," I said pulling the blankets over my head.
"Hey, wake up! I'm not done talking to you."
"Geez. It's the middle of the night. Can't this wait until morning after I've had a cup of coffee?"
"No. There's something that's been bothering me. I need to get it off my chest. Not that I have an actual chest, being an imaginary voice in your head and all, but you know what I mean," Gus said. "You know that short story you just wrote. Well, what if it wasn't an original idea?"
"What do you mean? The idea came to me in the middle of the night. It's 100% original. It's all mine."
"Well, how can you be sure? Maybe someone's already written a New York Times bestselling novel with the same exact idea. Maybe there's a mini-series airing on the SyFy channel right now with the same exact plot and characters. You know what that would make you? A thief. A plagiarizer. How do you like them apples?"
I sat up in bed and petted Georgie while I thought about it.
"But, I haven't read anything with the same idea. I don't have a television, so how would I even know what they're airing on the SyFy channel? See, I can't possibly be a plagiarizer," I huffed as I curled back under my blankets.
I tossed and turned for a few minutes, trying to get comfortable. "For goodness sake, now how am I supposed to be able to sleep with this on my mind? What if I did steal the idea from someone else without knowing it?"
"Think about something else."
"What, like counting sheep?"
"Don't be stupid. That never works. I don't know, think about something completely unrelated, like mascara."
"Mascara? I haven't worn the stuff in ages."
"Don't think we haven't noticed. Would it hurt to make a little effort once in a while? A little mascara, some lip gloss, you'll feel like a new woman."
"I don't know. I bet if I tried to wear mascara now, I'd end up poking myself in the eye with the wand."
"See, it worked. Now, you're thinking about mascara instead of being a plagiarizer. Well, my work here is done."
"The mascara thing isn't really working, Gus." I pulled the covers down and looked around. "Gus, are you there? Where did you go? Hey, Gus, wake up!"
Do you ever wake up in the night and can't fall back asleep because you keep thinking about things? What keeps you up at night?
Thanks for stopping by our blog - we love it when people come visit! We're also on Facebook - pop by and say hi!
That was a funny exchange.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when that happens. Usually it's something dumb that keeps me awake.
I'll tell Gus you thought it was funny. He wrote it :-)
DeleteMore often than not, I need about an hour before falling asleep. Usually, it is some stupid conversation in my head about nothing worth thinking about. Sometimes, it is a brilliant idea that I am too lazy to write down or remember, or, when I remember, it sounds totally uninteresting in the morning, with a clear head. I guess you could do a quick Google search about that story idea. I always think my thoughts and ideas are original, but, in reality, they rarely are. :-(
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I want to know if someone else has my idea. I think I'd rather live in ignorance :-)
DeleteWhen I was working I did, but not long after I retired this awful occurrence ended. I so remember though. Now I just sleep and it's wonderful. I know I dream, but rarely do I remember a dream.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
You're very luck to be a sound sleeper.
DeleteI had to smile. I once read that cats only meow for us humans, they communicate with each other via eye contact and body language.
ReplyDeleteI've read that too. Cats also seem to have different kinds of meows depending upon what they want.
DeleteDo I ever wake up in the night and lie awake for hours thinking of stupid things? Only about once a week. Usually it's a matter of writhing over stupid things I did decades ago, or else worrying about stuff I need to do/have procrastinated too long about doing!
ReplyDeleteThat's the worst - not being able to sleep because you think about something you did that you can't go back and change.
DeleteI usually wake up worrying about things I've forgotten to do. So I sometimes email myself a list or write stuff down so i can relax and not have to worry about forgetting again!
ReplyDeleteI used to do that when I worked. When I would wake up thinking of work things, I'd email myself. Great tip!
DeleteEEEK, just thinking about all the current stresses that keep me awake at night, stresses me out!
ReplyDeleteYou guys have so much going on just now, I can imagine that it's hard to fall asleep :-(
DeleteYes, I do wake up. Often times I just lay there wondering if I have to go to the bathroom or not. Other times I worry about the future of mankind. You never know.
ReplyDeleteI know just what you mean about the bathroom - too funny :-)
DeleteI sometimes worry that I DON'T have problems falling asleep! : )
ReplyDeleteOh, I wish I had that worry :-)
DeleteIs the story about zombies? Zombies are fun, except when they are in your way at a museum. I usually don't have enough brain cells to stay awake at night thinking. If I'm awake, it's because, like Kathleen, I'm thinking about going to the bathroom, but too lazy to get up!
ReplyDeleteThere aren't any zombies in the current draft, but maybe that's what it needs to give it some oopmh. You're way too young to be waking up in the middle of the night for bathroom breaks :-)
DeleteOnce I'm asleep I'm good. Falling asleep can be another story. There are many voices. Maybe I need to give the names.
ReplyDeleteI think you should definitely give them names. They can be playmates with your old friend, Amy G. :-)
DeleteOh my word ... I have a Gus in my life, although (s)he speaks to me loud and clear in the middle of the day :) I've named my voice, Delilah
ReplyDeleteDelilah is a great name! Gus is more of a night owl, he sleeps during the day and bugs me at night.
DeleteThat's the funniest post ever! Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteI usually have that happen when I try to go to bed early (well, early for me). Gus won't shut up!
Glad it gave you a laugh :-) It seems like everyone has their own Gus who bothers them at the most inconvenient time.
DeleteA funny conversation. When I get up in the middle of the night, I try to get back to the dream I was on to complete it ;)
ReplyDeleteSome dreams are so good you definitely want to fall back asleep and finish them :-)
DeleteI do often wake in the middle of the night and then find it hard to get back to sleep. I think brains should come with an off switch!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't that be handy - a little button behind your ear :-)
DeleteHa - yes! I think I need to give a name to the voice in my head that keeps me awake. Now, thinking of a clever name will be as distracting as mascara.
ReplyDeleteThat's true - the voices in my head wouldn't let me sleep one night until I had named them all :-)
Delete